Sowing Season

I love this song. And in some creepy/fucked up way it makes me feel good when I'm one of my stupid 'i-hate-the-whole-entire-fucking-universe-full-of-people-who-won't-do-anything-and-who-care-about-nothing'

Take all that you have

and turn it into something you would miss if

Somebody threw that brick

And shattered all your plans

Troubled Genius

Watching the BBC documentary on Mark Everett's father and their relationship. I watched it twice through last night. It just fascinated me. How can one man, Mark, be so full of sadness and still function?


His life has been so riddled with loss and surrounded by depression, not just from him, but from those around him. His father rarely conversed with the family; a troubled genius himself, whose attempts to make a difference in the world of quantum mechanics left him disappointed and disillusioned with the world. His sister, Elizabeth, committed suicide in 1996 after living a manic depressant for the majority of her life. Two years later, his mother died of cancer. His cousin was a flight attendant on a 9/11 flight.


His music is amazing and if something so accomplished can come out of such a troubled, sad life, then surely its truly possible to create something beautiful out of something truly dark. And that it's possible for anybody to tackle their deamons and rise above depression, doubt, loss and anything else the world can throw at them. If you lose something - create something new out of it.

〪〫Music ☊ Is ♬ Love♫♭〭〫〬

Been trying to work on designs for some music is love art work today. I really want to include something like this bird wearing headphones, curving into the lettering. We shall see how tomorrow's brainstorm goes.

Please excuse the quality - webcam photo.


But mostly I'd like to make one of these for us to cart around shows and have on our desk at ye olde Freshers Fayre, but i'd make the origami birds out of sheets of old music score which i'll age so tactfully with TEA LEAVES. This is my project for tomorrow. Ooh Rah.

☮ People need connectors, Writers, heroes, stars, leaders... To give life form.

Heroes of mine

• Jim Morrison 
• John Lennon
• Tenzin Gyasto 'The time has come to think more wisely, hasn't it?'
• Alex James
• Gandhi
• Philip Pullman
• Grace Slick  'Through literacy you can begin to see the universe. Through music you can reach anybody. Between the two there is you, unstoppable.'
• Pablo Picasso (currently the most interesting person in my life...) 'They ought to put out the eyes of painters as they do goldfinches in order that they can sing better'
• Thomas More
• Lord Byron
• Hermann Hesse 'Only the ideas that we really live have any value.' 
• Siddhartha Gatama (Buddha)

Ordinary people can be exceptional and change the world, so why do so few try? Call me crazy but I don't think it is necessary for so little to be done in the world. Call me naive and blame my 'teen angst' but I'd rather be annoyed and wanting to do something than apathetic and without passion/compassion or drive. 

Depressing Song

This is a little song I wrote when i was incredibly low about two months ago. I don't feel like this anymore but it was interesting to come across.

Cut out
She could cut you right out,
But if she can’t
She’s left feeling
A foreigner to this waking world

Her fists, her legs, her skull
And soul
Are left empty
For you,
A stencil to shade.

And dreaming like a girl
In the dark, with her world blown out.
Waking and with nothing
But her love to hide.

And when sunlight finds her wrists red
Painted with the pain she felt
The stars pray for their return,
The shadow of her heart to light

And twilight’s half way there.
You have a stencil life
And in your eyes it will grow.

Tommy Reilly

Even though Tommy Reilly is an act who was manufactured for and by Orange's unsigned act, there is still so much truth and naivety in his performance. His songs hold a childish charm to them which is offset by his 'soulful' writing. He's like Paolo Nutini in the sense that he appears so much older when he sings... but he can sing just juvenile things as 'I thought she was my friend but now I love her'. I just love him. I adore him.

His new album may make me want to cry for the entirety of every song but I embrace that and it takes a lot these days for that to happen.

This is his winning cover of Mr Brightside. And yes, it may just be a cover but I thin it adds an entirely different element to the song and turns it away from its club reputation and changes it into a heartfelt, believable anthem.

hats off to you, sir.



Oh, and if you can make Mr Alex James, king of Blur and owner of a cheese farm, you have my vote!

Will be seeing Tommy again this Summer.

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Just Lovely

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This Blog

This blog is entitled 'Fight or Flight' to stand as either my escape or as my fight against my own daemons, of which there are many.

I feel like battling against any form of prejudice that existed against me (past friends, guidance teachers) and getting into St Andrews has put me in good stead, but at the same time... I don't know what is wrong with my life. I am constantly fiighting some battle.Whether it's to do with how I'm living or whether its pushed upon me by extraneous circumstances does not matter; I just hope that this blog manages to communicate how I feel at this time and how my thoughts progress towards what I hope is a clearer, happier me. 

There will be art. There will be music. There will be words.

And here we go...